fffrrrrrrriiiiidaaaaaaayyyyyy

It's 1pm. Or 1300. I just got back from the gym. Gonna chow down on some grub, shower it up, hit the books a bit at the library, come home, and play some loud music, then drink some purple drank. It's hard to find it though...but its been so long since I've had it. I'll make it a mission. Purple drank by the end of the weekend!

Changes? Changing?

Wood tips, BBC Video, Bustin Seams, Matthew is Awesome, Lori Wick, Nature Valley, Intensive Care, FEAR, Boston, Vector, Childhood – the list could (and does) go on and on. A list of what? Just the normal everyday text on the items surrounding my desk. Could a simple peruse through my room tell about who I am? Probably. How about if you were to spend a decent amount of time just going through the items on my desk and pc – would I be comfortable with that type of situation? Of knowing somebody is actually figuring out who I actually am? Forget the bravado, the false fronts that are thrown up when social interaction rears its head, this is getting down to the bear bones of who a person really is. Just plain ol stripped down to the core of a being.

Yet there is still one reserve I hold over you – intellect.

I have items on my desk from years and years ago. Take for example Bustin Seams. It's a simple little booklet that is supposed to help you record information on pitchers from a batters' viewpoint. Needless to say, it's a baseball thing that I never took time to get rid of, or even put to use. I have no reason for it now. There's the faintest trace of dust overruling its proper sheen. That is an item which was used to reflect a portion of my personality not four years ago. Is that part of me still alive? Do I record and keep information on actions and occurrences which happen in my day to day life? Sure, now they don't have to be number and location of pitches thrown to me on a certain day, but more apt would be the description of day to day interactions.

I keep a journal from time to time. It's horribly inconsistent, and the writing is laughable, but it is nice to flip through it and see what I was thinking after a particular event or occasion. How my mentality interpreted a phrase I remember verbatim to this day, yet my thoughts soon after the phrase was spoken are down there, written just to get them out of my head and see how they look on paper.

On point.

Your personality changes. Yes yes, there is that whole little phase of life called puberty through which, at one point or another, we all must trek. Beyond that. A first kiss, an engagement, that marriage day, the countless hours spent at the hospital hearing one set of screams, but yearning, waiting, for that infants first cries in this world.

We are different people before, and come out on the other side (hopefully) a better person for them.

A divorce, a death in the family, looking at the bank statement while a million other thoughts are flowing through your head, wondering if you've got what it takes to make it this month, the relationship which could be on the verge of folding because of the hasty words which were spoken last week, and still have yet to be reconciled.

Life is all about change. Sometimes it comes at you from behind, hitting you when you can be no more prepared for it. Some are seen from afar. You see them and plan accordingly for what is to come. Others are brought about from an incident you have recently experienced in one way or another, and acts as a whip which is to prod you into action.

August is fading. School is dawning. The holidays approach. Papers are signed. Smiles are cracked. Tears are shed. Friends are made. Beaus are deserted. 'Yes' is said. Loved ones unite. A life is born. The Olympics wan. A country traversed. A country fights. A country crippled. A civilization forgotten. A civilization discovered.

The world revolves. Life goes on.

There is nothing new under the sun.

And yet.

Change is the rod which spurs.

A Disclaimer

Yes, I have now created my own blog! Again! I figure it would be nice to have a site strictly dedicated to the art of the Blog, and it reveals itself such.

You'll notice the dates on the previous posts. I've had a couple of blogs in the past, and to bring all of you who are interested up to date on what words have had the misfortune to spew from my fingers, I shall try to upload at least one of these old posts a day with the date of the original post displayed unless otherwise unavailable, until I've caught up to the present day, where you shall then be entertained not in the least by more letters which seem to take some form, coherent or not.

Until then, let us take a walk back through time, shall we?

free write pt2

Why is it when we try to express our emotions, something inside of us grips
us with a fear only those possessed should know? For some odd reason, it
merely raises its head at the seemingly most inauspicious of times, where
the heart is fluttering, the breath short, the palms far from dry, the
attitude daring at best – but that is where it starts. From humble
beginnings do the most important of ideas occur. While this does not cease
to amaze our oh so simple intelligences, it fails to bring to the forefront
what the origin of this truly is.
It is not simply the description of what man can say he has accomplished,
but one which must be sought after, when all inspiration has failed, to
merely take a step back and glance at your surroundings. You are not just a
simple being. You are made in the image of the most powerful being ever
existed. That is not merely a small feat – in comparison, the ashes of
London would seem like the fires of a grill. The mere thought of a being so
powerful, so omnipotent, so indescribable is simply non-existent.
From the ashes of trial does the true fruit of our labor choose to reveal
itself. There is no more thought or logic concerned with the daily balance.
There is no firm footing to be had. We are to simply put our faith in the
One to be trusted and do just that. Give everything totally up for the
eventual process which is to take place.
Not only are we friends, we are kin. The bond we share goes far beyond the
silly boundaries of biology – which is a crude imitation of the infinitely
deep complexities we are to share in this game we call life. Our
relationship is that of a stranger, yet one of a total confidant. We know
not each others' habits or customs. We are simply here on this planet to
fulfill the desires of the One which has created us in the likeness of His
image. This is no simple exit exam – for what we do in life echoes in
eternity. Consequences are to be simply forgotten? Are we to merely look
the other way when calamity is set to strike? To live the life of bliss and
ignorance when others are eking a life so miserable it would make the life
of the cursed seem to be that of the Utopian? This is merely an idea to be
thrown about on the whims of a divine being, one where the familiarities
cease to exist, and the unknown is to be your intimate.

free write

So I hear ists somethimes a good thign for you tod do once in a while,, this thing called free writing. I actually got it from a movie with Sean Connary, where he's is taking this kid under his wing, and just teaching him how to write. There's this scene where they just both sit down at opposite typewriters, and Sean just says go, and off they go, typing away. What seems like seconds later, Sean is all done, with the kid in complete bafflement on how he did it. Then during my english class, one of the bvest ways to get a first draft doe is to totally get thingking about it, and just type until you can't anymore about that particular subject - but that was for a creative writing assignment, so don't go doing that for your master thesis or anything.

Just to get some thoughts out. I've been going over some of my past papers, and it's kinda weird to think that was me writing them. Just the language, tone and word selection seem all out of place for me. I know I've definatly changed in the past year and all, but has it been that drastic? Am I who would typically go through such a personality change that I wouldn't be able to recognize myself? But it probably nothing that big. It's probably just the certian mindset you put yoursefl into when you know you have to get something done, and you do it ot the best of your abilities.

Some common perceptions. Valentines Day has come and gone once again, and I don't really feel anything special about it. Yes, this is a day where couples of all sorts get together and tell each other how they would die if they didn't have each other. Dont hate on me though, but it's almost laughable what some of the outcomes of some of those relationships end up being. Maybe they were too young to realize what Love - that term so commonly thrown about these days - actually is. I'm not saying I have the answer in my head and can spout it at any particular point in time, but lets say I have one of the best examples of my life living in the same house as myself. And Yes, that bond can be broken, surprising as it sounds. [break]

More Papers

I'm too lazy to expound on some of these topics right now, so here is just an excerpt of a paper done for a demanding professor. But I did feel like getting some things said about racism, because it is just totally bogus.

Just to throw you for a loop, can you actually define race?

Diversity is an issue that mankind has been struggling with since the beginning of time, and is still evident in our modern day society. From the slavery of the Hebrews by the Egyptians to the genocide that is being practiced even this day in the case of the country of Darfur. It seems humanity is destined to continue a battle that will never be resolved.

What would be the reasonable solution? We have studied the way government works its new ideas into the brains of the American psyche. It seems the best way to make all the changes happen in the shortest amount of time is to get the idea across at the most basic of levels, the educational system. And the logic behind this is not flawed at all. What other institutions are all Americans made to pass through for a mandatory part of their life?

The numbers behind school diversity do not simply reflect on the school itself. If you simply follow the money, it is quite easy to see. The higher percentage of minority students there are in the school, the lower amount of funding that particular school seems to receive. It is also reflected in the surrounding community; for again, the higher percentage the minority in the community, it will also reflect on the school at hand.

Yes, this seems too barbaric to be true in what we like to think of our enlightened society. Should the quality of education be subject to the amount of melanin in a persons skin? Should the community be subject to that type of prejudice? But we are not to be so harsh on them, for it is not very far off where the fabled white man, the one who has been the majority in America for so long is to become the minority. The U.S. Census Bureau projects by the year 2040, the majority of school-age children will be members of minority groups.

on abortion

just a couple of things I found:

If you haven't seen what abortion does, then you will never understand what abortion actually is. - Clenard Howard Childress

Between 1882 and 1968, 3,446 Blacks were lynched in the U.S. That number is surpassed in less than 3 days by abortion.
- Clenard Childress

It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish - Mother Teresa

I've noticed that everybody that is for abortion has already been born. - President Reagan

Only half the patients who go into an abortion clinic come out alive. - Unknown

If it isn't a baby, then you aren't pregnant, so what are you aborting? - Unknown

If we accept that a mother can kill even her own child, how can we tell other people to not kill each other? Any country that accepts abortion is not teaching its people to love, but to use any violence to get what they want. - Mother Teresa

If the anti-abortion movement took a tenth of the energy they put into noisy theatrics and devoted it to improving the lives of children who have been born into lives of poverty, violence, and neglect, they could make a world shine. - Michael J. Tucker

Abortion is inherently different from other medical procedures because no other procedure involves the purposeful termination of a potential life. - Judge Potter Stewart

The product, abortion, is skillfully marketed and sold to the woman at the crisis time in her life. She buys the product, finds it defective and wants to return it for a refund. But, it's too late. - Unknown

Every woman I have seen who has had a termination has a difficult time subsequently. They have a grief process and sorting out time to go through. It certainly doesn't leave them unmarked and I have never met a woman who has had one who would want to go through it again of her own free will. - Dr. Christine Forster

The greatest destroyer of peace is abortion because if a mother can kill her own child what is left for me to kill you and you to kill me? There is nothing between. - Mother Teresa

If a man doesn't want a child, he is a dead beat dad. If A woman doesn't want a child, she is pro choice. - Unknown

I do not believe in abortion at will. I do not believe that if a woman just wants to have an abortion she should...I do believe if you have an abortion you are committing murder. - Nancy Reagan

And from the other side . . .

In fact many women will come to me considering abortion, and I have been personally told that I am to turn the monitor away from her view so that seeing her baby jump around on the screen does not influence her choice.

Shari Richards, quoted from the John Ankerburg Show on 3/7/90

I hated putting babies in strainers and rinsing them off and putting them in zip-lock bags.

--former abortion clinic owner Eric Harrah


"There is no difference between a first trimester, a second trimester, a third trimester abortion or infanticide. It's all the same human being in different stages of development. I finally got to the point I couldn't look at those little bodies anymore."

-- Dr. Arnold Halpern, former director of a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic

They [the women] are never allowed to look at the ultrasound because we knew that if they so much as heard the heart beat, they wouldn't want to have an abortion. -- Dr. Randall

Every woman has these same two questions: First, "Is it a baby?" "No" the counselor assures her. "It is a product of conception (or a blood clot, or a piece of tissue)" Even though these counselors see six week babies daily, with arms, legs and eyes that are closed like newborn puppies, they lie to the women. How many women would have an abortion, if they told them the truth?"

-- Carol Everett, former owner of two clinics and director of four
"A Walk Through an Abortion Clinic" by Carol Everett ALL About Issues magazine Aug-Sept 1991, p 117

We tried to avoid the women seeing them [the fetuses] They always wanted to know the sex, but we lied and said it was too early to tell. It's better for the women to think of the fetus as an 'it.'

-- Abortion clinic worker Norma Eidelman quoted in Rachel Weeping p 34

Sometimes we lied. A girl might ask what her baby was like at a certain point in the pregnancy: Was it a baby yet? Even as early as 12 weeks a baby is totally formed, he has fingerprints, turns his head, fans his toes, feels pain. But we would say 'It's not a baby yet. It's just tissue, like a clot.'"

-- Kathy Sparks told in "The Conversion of Kathy Sparks" by Gloria Williamson, Christian Herald Jan 1986 p 28

Now, the baby I aborted was eleven weeks old, and can you imagine what this did to me when I saw this baby with the hands and face, sucking his thumb? And they told me it was a cluster of cells!"

-- Carole K. State Director of Women Exploited By Abortion. From Women Exploited, which is a sampling of the stories of WEBA (Women Exploited by Abortion) chapter members.


I have always believed that the decision to have an abortion generally should be between a woman, her doctor, her conscience, and her God. - Bill Clinton

I have met thousands and thousands of pro-choice men and women. I have never met anyone who is pro-abortion. Being pro-choice is not being pro-abortion. Being pro-choice is trusting the individual to make the right decision for herself and her family, and not entrusting that decision to anyone wearing the authority of government in any regard. - Hillary Clinton