Okay, so its two forty-two in the morning. I have no idea why I cannot sleep. I spent a good eight or nineish hours out in the sun today, so youd think I would be able to get a really good sleep, seeing as how the sun is supposed to drain your life away or something like that. Idunno, maybe its something else. I dont know what it would really be. I just finished one of my two summer classes, and Im feeling pretty confident about it my grade I mean, I have yet to receive it so it cant really be that. The grandparents are over, but that is always a good time, and its no different now. Luke is doing pretty well in the summer baseball thing hes got going on right now. Yeah, I get antsy just being a fan after playing for soooooo long. I dont think that is going to leave me any time soon. Kinda like an itch you cant really nail down to a specific area. Its there, bugging you, but you dont really know how to take care of it. I get my little selfish dose of it every now and again when I get to go throw with Luke because he wants to keep his arm in tune. (have to say, after two years of not playing in a league, I still throw pretty well just to toot my own horn ;) ) Work? Im loving it. I get paid to play with kids. I dont think it can get much better than that. Plus I have the best flip-flop tan going, except for my neighbors, but she just sits on a chair outside all day, so she automatically wins that competition.

Ahsodeska. Ive nailed it.

Blogs.

That is what it all comes down to. Not that Im losing sleep over it, but just the fact that its been in the back of my mind for the past few days, because go figure), I read a persons blog. Hey! Talk about putting tow and two together.

So, this person is talking about relationships, and she is almost feeling like something is missing from her life, and she mentioned boyfriend. So that means she must have had some sort of previous relationship ( I dont know her all that well, which is a real shame, because she just lives right up the road, and I just figured that out).

And whaddya know, being the selfish person I most certainly am, I focussed on myself, and this whole relationship thing. Or lack thereof would be the proper term I do believe.

I find it interesting that it would play such an important role in some peoples lives. Oh yeah, there are certain cases where its going to come much much sooner than would be proper, say in a broken home, where a parent is gone, so they would go out and find a person to try and fill that void. It could be just a person of the same age, where they would heavily depend on that person for pretty much anything. But then there are the ones where a kid would hook up with a much older person, and unfortunatly, this is where that said older person could take advantage of them, and horribly scar them. That is not cool, but the sad thing is, it happens quite a bit. Im sure most of you have heard of the radio show Loveline. Yeha, if you have, then you know exactly what Im talking about.

But hey, that is getting way off topic. Remember, Im selfish? So that means we have to talk about me, and in turn, you get to read about me.

So, me and relationships. Earthly relationships. First off, allow me to clarify some things. I have been homeschooled for my entire school life. Well, except for college, go figure. But all the way from preK to 12^th grade, thats been my story. My dad was employed by the navy for all of my life, so that means we move every three years. So it would be pretty hard to maintain any sort of close relationship under those conditions. Yes, Ive played baseball, and teammates have had some pretty cute sisters, and the teammates would bring their girlfriends along, and so on and so forth. But believe it or not, I have actually not had that much contact with those of the opposite gender. Yes, I mean girls.

*gasp*

Did you just say the G word??

Yep. Sure did.

Yeah, there has been the crushes here and there. Everybody has those.

But the weird thing is, I dont feel as if anything is lacking from my life right now. In fact, with the summer equinox already past us, that means the school year is coming. And I dont really see how it could be possible to maintain a relationship through a college load. Oh yeah, people do it, dont get me wrong, but I know for a fact that people admit it is hard. Especially if both of the people live in the dorms. If something comes up, then there is drama. And if youre taking an 18 credit load, that is the last thing you need on your mind. Hey, even if youre not taking any classes, conflict with your significant other is never wanted.

Hey, were still talking about me here, lets not forget that.

So no. I can honestly say I am content with my whole lack of a girlfriend thing. Yes, I have friend girls, you know what I mean. But I kinda like where I am right now. As for the whole social scene, last semester was pretty nice. Can I say I actually opened up to a few friends, even actually started conversations? Whoa, now there is a mind bender. Me instigating a conversation. I know, that comes as a huge surprise.

Okay, my mind is starting to fall apart here. It is past three in the morning after all. And look at this. I wrote over a page. That is way cooler than filling out some stupid survey made by twelve yearolds asking if youve ever had alcohol and such.

Yeah, so Im going to bed now. I have to wake up in like four hours to do the church stuff, so people can get their weekly dose of religion as they sleep in the pews and keep checking their watch to see how long the pastor is going to go over. You notice so much when youre sitting in the sound booth